1. Carry these important instructions with you wherever you go
2. Playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas late into the night is not a good idea if you have work the following day.
But if you really have to play it, include lots of 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Fat Joe, Camstar and Slapdee
4. Know where and how to get a SIM Replacement...
5. Know how to say "Give me a cigarette" in at least 10 different languages
6. Never EVER say thank you afterward... that's just rude
7. There is never an excuse to NOT wear socks
8. If you ever have to attend to the call of nature and discover yourself without tissue or newspaper... sacrifice your socks...
9. Look right, look left, look right again...
10. If it's yellow and it has a mustache, it just wants your money
11. People have much better things to do than talk about you...
12. Never buy weed that's already been rolled. It's probably not weed.
13. If you ever want to succeed, you actually have to work at it.
14. If she dumps you, spend a year winning her heart back and then dump her the following week
15. Do it right now. Not tomorrow
16. Send all your uncles and aunties a text every two weeks.
17. Profit ni profit
18. If you're going to talk to a guy or girl you like, brush your teeth thoroughly .
19. Never fart when you're alone in an elevator. You will be gravely embarrassed at the next stop.
20. Don't argue with the conductor
21. Ten pin can solve almost any problem imaginable.
22. No matter how round and appealing it looks, don't grab it. You will lose your job or go to jail
23. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west
24. There's some words you just shouldn't say. Especially when you are drunk.
25 . Save water. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.


N.B. There is no number 3